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In a surprise move, Tar Paulin has declined to comment on something;
... another setback for the very concept of spontaneity as Clam Ayres, poet-in-residence for Glade Nice Plugins, has been snapped in a shit dress making exactly the set of gestures you'd expect her to fucking make while near some plants;
Oxford professors rejoiced, a bit, today, at the latest shipment of Geoffrey Krill; three crates of him were extracted from a whale washed up in Henley-on-Thames;
Over in Cambridge, the city centre rose a degree above freezing today, after the discovery of an early work by J. H. Bynne which does not contain the word 'vantage';
SHOCK! Something in the wider world actually impacts upon British poetry, as climate change means carburetor-poet Simon Hermitage is now almost entirely below sea level, versifying "like a seal tiddlywinked by a tractor tyre just to keep his hair dry";
Still on sabbatical in the bee-gardens of Buckingham Palace, poet laureate Skep Ann Duffy is reported to be working on a dramatic prose piece commemorating the 300th anniversary of the rounded bevel;
AND FINALLY! -- further upset from technicians at the forge where Glandrew Notion's verse is extruded -- they claim that since losing the laureateship he is now "usually sesame paste" at room temperature.